


Communist Theory, Anarchist Praxis

by Impure_Ideology



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Banter, Competent Ancom, Feelings, Fluff, Is that the right tag? idk they’re both stupid and don’t realize they’re totally falling in love, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Character, Other, Realization, no misgendering but Nazi is a bit of an ass about pronouns bc he’s himself, theory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26376799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impure_Ideology/pseuds/Impure_Ideology
Summary: Ancom and Commie trade theory for praxis and are adorable fools.Basically just fluff with a lil’ bit of theory, politics, and direct action mixed in for good measure.
Relationships: Ancom/Commie, LibLeft/AuthLeft, leftist unity - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62





	Communist Theory, Anarchist Praxis

"Really, Commie? If I just read some theory, you'll do praxis with me? Do you mean it?" Ancom's eyes lit up in delight as qui grinned at the communist across the kitchen counter. 

" _Da_ , comrade. It only seems fair. If I’m going to push you to read my theory, it wouldn’t be right for me to skip out on putting theory into practice," the other ideology replied, smiling in return. 

Practically bouncing with excitement, Ancom said, "Fuck yeah! What do you want me to read?" 

Commie replied, "How about _The Communist Manifesto_ , always a good place to start, no?" Ancom grinned again, "Nahhh, I've read that already. How about something new?" 

The statist couldn't hide the surprise that crossed his face, making Ancom roll quis eyes, "Ugh, just because I don't always like to read theory, that doesn't mean I haven't read theory. _The Manifesto_ is short, and I am a communist, after all. C'mon, give me a little credit here." 

Commie chuckled and said, "Okay, then, Mx. Theory, how about _Das Kapital_?" 

The anarchist stuck quis tongue out and grimaced, "Oh, hell no. You know I'll never get through that. Not in any reasonable amount of time, anyway. I've read, like, half of _Volume I_ so far and it took me ages. I happen to know even you’ve only read it once, and haven’t bothered with _II_ and _III_! Be reasonable!" Qui paused, then teased, "Or do you not want to do praxis with me? I know how you authcoms hate praxis." 

It was Commie's turn to roll his eyes, "I do not hate praxis! Just because I may have a different idea of what praxis looks like, that does not mean I do not engage in it all! Fine. How about _The State and Revolution_? I could do with a re-read, as well."

“Perfect! I’ve been meaning to finish that forever. I got partway through, but authlefts act like reading it is some sort of ‘cure’ for anarchism, so I stopped in the middle out of annoyance. It’s a deal, then! I’ll read _State and Rev_ , and you’ll come with me to put theory into practice.” Ancom hopped off the stool and grabbed some of Ancap’s bagels, holding one in quis mouth while wrapping several others in a clean towel. Qui shoved them in quis backpack, then looked back at the other leftist and asked hopefully, “Do you want to read together later? After dinner?”

“I would enjoy that, comrade. Let’s plan on it.” For some reason, Commie found he didn’t want the anarchist to think he was nagging or being paternalistic, so he made sure to keep his tone light as he continued, “You are expropriating more of the kulak’s bread than normal, so I am guessing you are going out today, _da_? I am sure you remember, but we are on cooking duty tonight.”

“Oh, for sure! I’m just heading to the protests downtown.” When Commie’s eyes widened, qui laughed, “Don’t look at me like that! I’m simply running supplies and helping at the medic stations if they need me. No provoking pigs or bashing fash for me today. I’ll be back in plenty of time to cook.” At the sound of a car horn, qui said, “Gotta run! Mutualism and Agorism are waiting for me. Bye!”

Commie watched the other leftist bolt out the door, run down the driveway, and hop into a pickup truck loaded with gear. He pushed down some unexpected feelings of concern, and hurried to finish his own breakfast and vacate the kitchen before Ancap showed up to whine about Ancom’s bagel redistribution.

* * *

After a long day of distributing supplies and helping victims of the cops’ chemical weapons, Ancom was mentally keyed up, but physically drained. Qui got in the truck with Mutualism and Agorism and, after making plans to do the whole thing again later that week, the left market anarchists dropped quem off at the Centricide house and qui headed inside.

As soon as qui opened the front door, qui caught the scent of baking bread. Commie was already in the kitchen and had half the island dusted with flour. Ancom watched him for a few seconds before realizing qui was staring at the man’s arms as he kneaded dough. When Commie looked up, qui blushed and quickly averted quis eyes as qui spoke, “Sorry, Commie! I thought I made it back before you’d be starting to cook!”

The communist waved a hand in the air, sending a few puffs of flour flying, “No worries, Ancom. I’m not starting dinner yet. I just felt the urge to make some fresh bread to go with whatever we make tonight. Besides, we should decide what to cook together. Any ideas?”

“How about curry? I’m in the mood for something spicy. Plus, side benefit, it will annoy the Nazi. He always calls it ‘ethnic’ food. Speaking of spicy, I should go change and shower. I don’t want to risk getting any residue from pepper spray or tear gas on you or in the food.” 

Before he could stop himself, Commie blurted out, “Ancom, I thought you said you weren’t going to put yourself in any danger today!” He winced inwardly. That had sounded more like an admonishment than he’d intended.

Ancom was too full of positive energy after the day to really notice, though. Qui headed towards quis room as qui laughed and responded, “I didn’t! But I helped out in the med tent, and the fucking cops were really trigger-happy with the ‘riot control agents’ today. Ha! What a nice euphemism for using chemical weapons on civilians. Anyway, I probably got some on myself when I was helping Anarcho-pacifism do eye washes.” 

Once in quis room, qui pulled off quis clothes and put them in a trash bag to wash separately later. Then qui took a shower and looked for something to put on. Qui wavered more than usual while deciding what to wear, although qui didn’t know why qui felt nervous about picking something just to wear around the house. Qui shook it off with a trusty hoodie-shorts-fishnets-boots combo.

Once Ancom returned to the kitchen, the two leftists set about cooking dinner. Commie had cleaned up from baking and started sauteeing the onions, garlic, and ginger while Ancom had been changing, so qui started chopping the rest of the veggies for the curry. 

They chatted while they cooked, and when the authoritarian leftist expressed surprise at Ancom’s knife skills, qui grinned and said, “I don’t know why you’re surprised. I’ve chopped veggies for, like, hundreds of servings of chilis and stews and curries while doing Food Not Bombs. I may seem like a disaster queer, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

Commie’s brows knitted together, and he frowned, “ _Nyet_ , comrade, you are not a disaster. You may be messy and easily distracted, but that does not make you a disaster. You are very passionate, smart, caring, and…”

Ancom cut him off with a laugh, “No, no, Commie. It’s just...it’s just a joke. I don’t actually think I’m a disaster. Well, mostly I don’t. Sorry, I forget that you don’t spend much time in queer spaces and you aren’t Extremely Online, either, so some of that humor might not hit right. I still like you, though.”

Qui gently elbowed the other ideology to make him look at quem, and smiled at him when he did so he’d know qui was teasing. The authoritarian couldn’t help but smile back, even though he was a little embarrassed.

The curry was simmering and the rice was almost cooked when Ancap strolled into the room. “Hey there leftists, that actually smells really good. Maybe it will almost make up for your brazen bread banditry this morning.” 

“What do you mean, Ancap?” asked Ancom, “I mean, I expropriated bagels from you, sure, but I left you some, just like I always do. Are you actually mad about me taking four of your bagels, Cap? You get a half dozen delivered every morning, and I know I usually only take a couple, but since you only ever eat one, maybe two at most, I didn’t think it would matter if I took four today.”

Ancap considered the other anarchist thoughtfully, “Hmm. I have been meaning to bring up your repeated theft for a while, but you always leave plenty, and it’s such a low-level violation of my NAP, I hadn’t bothered until I was left breakfastless this morning. If you didn’t take them, then who did? Commie?”

“I didn’t take your bagels, capitalist. I try to avoid meals that rely so heavily on wheat products as a central component. I have a...complicated relationship with grain.”

“What are you three liberals talking about? And when’s dinner?” Nazi strode into the kitchen as the other extremists angrily replied, “I’m not a liberal, you three are the liberals!” in unison. 

Before the fascist’s grave insult could start a full-fledged argument, Ancom asked, “Hey Nazi, did you take Ancap’s last two bagels this morning?”

“Is that what you were all whining about? Yeah, of course I took them.”

Ancap gasped indignantly, “You did? Why!? I thought at least you would respect my property rights, unlike these filthy commies.”

The other right-winger laughed and said, “I did, yeah. Because I wanted them. They were pretty good, too. You really should have defended your property better.”

“I shouldn’t have to worry about that in my own damn home! None of you respect my NAP at all! At least Ancom always leaves some for me when qui steals my bagels. You could have left me one, Nazi.”

Nazi scoffed, “Qui? Really? So now you’re using those made up words, too. You’re not going SJW on me, are you, Ancap?”

Ancom raised quis voice and brandished quis bat, “Why the fuck wouldn’t he use the correct pronouns? You’re such a transphobic piece of shit, Nazi! I should-” 

Before qui could finish quis sentence, Ancom’s bat was plucked right out of quis grip. Qui turned to Commie, ready to yell, but before qui could say anything, Commie said, “Come on, comrade, I’m looking forward to eating the delicious food we just made. We shouldn’t allow the fascist to get in the way of that.” 

About to argue, Ancom looked up and into Commie’s eyes, and when he smiled at quem, qui found quemself grinning back, instead. “Fine, Commie. You’re right. I’m fucking starving after today! Let’s just eat.”

The four of them grabbed plates of food and sat at the table together, and the bickering died down to a manageable level until they were almost done eating.

“This is really good, leftists. I guess I’ll let your thieving slide for now, Ancom.” said Ancap.

His leftist counterpart replied, “Heh, thanks, Ancap. I think? Again, I’m sorry about this morning. Not for the theft itself, of course. Redistributing some of the bagels was definitely the right thing to do. But I do feel bad you didn’t get to eat any of them.”

Nazi scowled, “Well I’m glad I ate them, since this dinner sucks. The food is too ethnic. Next time make something Western, not whatever this is. And put meat in it!”

Commie chuckled and said, “Yeah, yeah, Nazi. It’s so awful. That’s why you had seconds and why you’re in the middle of mopping up every last bit of curry with the bread I made.”

Nazi rolled his eyes and pushed back from the table, “Whatever. I’m going to play Call of Duty.” 

Ancom pushed quis own chair back and stood up, “Not so fast! We cooked, so it’s you and Ancap’s turn to do dishes. C’mon, Commie, let’s go read!” Qui ran to quis room and came back with a book, sprawling on the couch and opening the book.

Before Nazi and Ancap could protest, Commie got up and headed into his own room to get his copy of _The State and Revolution_. When he returned, Ancom sat up to make room for him, so he joined the anarchist on the couch and they both settled in to read.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I started this a million years ago, including picking the book for them to read, before the riots video came out, but oh well.


End file.
